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Twitter Feed (2013-2015)

Ye Olde Twitter Feed, from when I did such things. Before the dark times.
1/11/2013
1/10/2013, 7:33:20 PM

Really just re-joined twitter because my new smartphone supports it. Contemplating whether to tweet or not. Oops. Just did.

1/11/2013
1/11/2013, 12:39:13 PM

@jonvon Buffalo Tofu!

1/12/2013
1/12/2013, 10:19:38 AM

JSON objects do not like being JSON.Parsed(). But really, who would?

1/15/2013
1/15/2013, 7:21:23 AM

Totally woke up from a dream where Drunk Hulk was our new housemate.

1/15/2013
1/15/2013, 3:12:37 PM

I is programmer. I haz data.

1/16/2013
1/15/2013, 6:24:32 PM

@Cymonsgames Hm. That may be the vaguest trailer I have ever seen. Disney == evil.

1/17/2013
1/17/2013, 8:03:32 AM

@jonvon I still say guns are fine, it is bullets we need to outlaw.

1/18/2013
1/18/2013, 12:14:18 PM

If I've always thought Lance Armstrong was a stupid jerk, but now he is admitting it... is he no longer a stupid jerk?

1/24/2013
1/24/2013, 1:14:19 PM

Read The Comments. http://t.co/9IuTP98A

1/24/2013
1/24/2013, 1:19:54 PM

@jonvon Oh, no! Don't follow me down the xpages trail of dismay! xpages makes me sad. Even HTML is funnier than xpages!

1/24/2013
1/24/2013, 1:35:11 PM

And now apple is making me sad. I have to have a credit card on file with itunes to download a FREE app?

1/24/2013
1/24/2013, 3:02:33 PM

@jonvon Irrelevant. Yes, that is exactly the perfect, appropriate, and correct word.

1/31/2013
1/31/2013, 9:57:57 AM

8 AM store run. In PJs. Buy 44oz Mountain Dew. I was expecting them to ask me, "So, what kind of coding do you do?"

1/31/2013
1/31/2013, 12:03:29 PM

Just coded a web page that will upload a large video file via chunking it into multiple AJAX POSTs. As in, code done, but afraid to test.

1/31/2013
1/31/2013, 12:55:20 PM

@jonvon Don't cross the streams.

2/6/2013
2/5/2013, 10:21:04 PM

It is a good day when I can write a fancy jQuery plugin and have an epic game of hide-and-seek with children.

2/7/2013
2/7/2013, 1:17:11 PM

I think I can cancel Netflix now: http://t.co/20L2lZ98

2/8/2013
2/8/2013, 9:41:32 AM

I now prefer Firefox for JS Debugging, and Chrome for CSS work. This useless statement brought to you by the HTML5 File API.

2/12/2013
2/12/2013, 11:49:27 AM

So 1000 XPages questions on Stack Overflow is a good thing? I thought the ratio of developers to questions shows confusion, not adoption

2/16/2013
2/15/2013, 6:36:32 PM

@jonvon, I should change my twitter id to @userheadexplode

2/21/2013
2/20/2013, 10:50:42 PM

@jonvon Re: Admins. Pick 2.

2/22/2013
2/22/2013, 10:51:04 AM

Time to escape the city. Heading to UT to look at farms... that are close enough to the city to have broadband access.

2/25/2013
2/25/2013, 11:30:46 AM

After escaping Denver, I now cannot return to it as planned. 2 more days in Utah due to snow!

3/2/2013
3/2/2013, 12:23:11 PM

DeviantArt talking about the rise of the artist is like mcdonalds talking about the rise of the hamburger. Quantity != Quality.

3/8/2013
3/8/2013, 8:35:47 AM

As a programmer, I fulfilled my stereotypical duty of trying the new Cool Ranch tacos from Taco Bell. Fortunately for my health... Meh.

3/8/2013
3/8/2013, 8:54:45 AM

Working from home == need to train your wife to listen to your incomprehensible accomplishments, then smile, nod, and say, "Good job!"

3/8/2013
3/8/2013, 12:30:34 PM

@sweethavenarts Exactly! Your training is complete!

3/8/2013
3/8/2013, 2:59:56 PM

@jonvon Luddite though I may have become, THAT is worth buying.

3/13/2013
3/13/2013, 5:55:01 AM

@CymonsGames Cannot decide if this is cool or creepy - http://t.co/vpOxYiWSUi

3/15/2013
3/15/2013, 11:45:26 AM

Life of a developer: think, think, think, CODE, test, debug, test, debug, test, deploy, announce, listen, contemplate, rinse, repeat.

3/15/2013
3/15/2013, 1:02:48 PM

@jonvon jQuery. I TOLD YOU SO! HA!

3/18/2013
3/18/2013, 11:57:46 AM

How can I have an error on line 183, if the script only has 28 lines?

3/21/2013
3/21/2013, 12:06:06 PM

I feel like I should say something here.

3/27/2013
3/27/2013, 5:59:40 PM

My laptop. Scroll down. Hear the hard drive churning. Every time I scroll a browser window. This does not bode well.

4/4/2013
4/4/2013, 3:14:19 PM

At Easter, our daughter could not identify a twinkie. Apparently she has never seen one before. So I think that is a good thing.

4/12/2013
4/12/2013, 9:27:13 AM

@jonvon My biggest regret from those days is that we did not hang on to the Quotes database.

4/12/2013
4/12/2013, 2:47:11 PM

@jonvon http://t.co/U2t2InK3Vh

4/18/2013
4/18/2013, 12:44:17 PM

I've only ever heard of 18 out of 100 of Time's "Most Influential People". I'm undecided if this is good or bad.

4/23/2013
4/23/2013, 3:44:04 PM

@jonvon Like this? http://t.co/70X6oxeI09

4/24/2013
4/24/2013, 8:19:04 AM

RT @DalaiLama: Placing all our hope on material development is clearly mistaken; the ultimate source of happiness is within us.

4/29/2013
4/29/2013, 11:03:12 AM

Best statement of the morning: "Maybe we should just be sensible and eat a bowl of Meatballs"

5/1/2013
4/30/2013, 8:34:37 PM

My favorite technique to inspire others to share good ideas is still very simple - throw out a boneheaded idea. People will react.

5/1/2013
5/1/2013, 10:39:55 AM

@jonvon Do not delete. Save designs somewhere. You never know...

5/1/2013
5/1/2013, 11:14:35 AM

@jonvon I hope you also have some that have caused enough pain to allow you to revel in maniacal laughter as you delete it into oblivion!

5/1/2013
5/1/2013, 6:31:11 PM

New Home. New Internet connection. http://t.co/Min6ui0Jwm

5/5/2013
5/5/2013, 9:31:45 AM

@jonvon Rejoice, trash the alleged TV, and revel in the outdoors for the remainder of your days. Or something like that.

5/15/2013
5/15/2013, 3:41:02 PM

How high is my fever when my own forehead feels hot?

6/6/2013
6/6/2013, 2:44:11 PM

My kids say anything is wrong on their computers, I say, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Works every time.

6/8/2013
6/8/2013, 8:01:56 AM

5 yr old son says to me: "I like you. When I grow up I want to be like you. Except I don't want to get in a bike accident."

6/27/2013
6/27/2013, 6:28:35 PM

@jonvon ... and whether they know it or not.

7/29/2013
7/29/2013, 10:16:29 AM

I'm finding the largest challenge in doing Windows and Mac Dev at the same time is keeping the muscle memory straight when hitting Ctrl-C.

7/31/2013
7/31/2013, 9:23:37 AM

Not impressive to iOS devs, but it is a thrill to succeed with a new tech, so my Domino data being imported into my iOS app? WOO!

8/1/2013
7/31/2013, 9:36:39 PM

@jonvon SQL or SQL not. There is no try{ }.

8/2/2013
8/1/2013, 7:10:28 PM

http://t.co/KMR5t97Cvq

8/8/2013
8/8/2013, 11:09:26 AM

Working from home: mostly quiet, effective coding, with sporadic 3 yr old appearances at my desk to say, "Hi!" and show me random things

8/14/2013
8/14/2013, 10:38:32 AM

Harvested about 15 gallons of grapes before the wasps started to wake up for the day. Must be time to head in and start coding.

8/15/2013
8/15/2013, 9:06:56 AM

So XML performs as well as JSON. I don't care. I like JSON better. I can turn it directly into a JS object. No Code.

8/20/2013
8/19/2013, 9:16:25 PM

Quote of the evening: "If I go out back, will you meet me there with a truck and a sledgehammer?" #alwayswantedtosaythattomywife

8/22/2013
8/21/2013, 7:38:55 PM

Google Maps tells me: "We could not find jalapeno poppers in utah". Yeah, exactly!

8/26/2013
8/26/2013, 10:00:32 AM

@jonvon Happy Birthday! This year, I finally remembered that you and my son share the same day! Woo!

8/26/2013
8/26/2013, 6:25:28 PM

@jonvon "Sharepoint is weird" moment? Yeah, that is less of a "moment" and more of a lifestyle choice that is not really at all by choice.

8/28/2013
8/27/2013, 11:00:34 PM

I really want to complain about iOS deployment, but cannot really get up to full-rant-speed in 140 characters.

9/12/2013
9/12/2013, 8:02:28 AM

The older I get, the less I enjoy Heinlein

9/16/2013
9/16/2013, 5:29:38 PM

@jonvon I'm worried about you. 8 hours later, no tweets of hallucinations.

9/18/2013
9/18/2013, 11:59:44 AM

Sign #238 that I am getting older: Seeing this picture, I no longer say "I gotta climb that." Looking is good enough: http://t.co/NtYizRmgPN

9/18/2013
9/18/2013, 3:16:31 PM

@sweethavenarts Maybe I just collect rocks from the bottom instead.

9/18/2013
9/18/2013, 3:23:22 PM

Not being a huge twitterer, gaining a 4th follower is a big increase. Or in other words, Hi @tech_is_hard / Grant!

9/26/2013
9/26/2013, 2:29:08 PM

@jonvon Sometimes, It IS just too hard.

10/3/2013
10/3/2013, 6:02:22 PM

Coded all day, fairly complex piece of code. Test it all. Works on first try. Hmm.... no, no, no. I don't trust that. MOAR TESTING!.

10/10/2013
10/10/2013, 10:23:48 AM

@jonvon Client? Yes. Designer? No. I was able to get Designer running via WINE, but it has a lot of problems in that environment.

10/10/2013
10/10/2013, 11:01:40 AM

@jonvon Are you converting Notes stuff into mongo? I'd love to see the details of that...

10/17/2013
10/17/2013, 9:41:54 AM

@jonvon Everything must be an object. Scripting is for the weak. Strongly typed is mandatory. Instantiate the base class. Conform! Conform!

10/30/2013
10/30/2013, 2:21:31 PM

@jonvon RE: Lightning bolt: Open a doc. Lightning bolt! grr. Ctrl-Break. Operation stopped at your request. STILL Lightning bolt! ARGH.

10/30/2013
10/30/2013, 2:27:53 PM

@jonvon ooh, I need to update my Mac partition to the new OS, and see what wonders THAT does to DDE!

10/31/2013
10/31/2013, 6:42:48 PM

@jonvon Forum2000 was an AI ahead of its time. It should have been / show now be implemented as set of twitter "bots".

11/20/2013
11/20/2013, 11:33:47 AM

3yr old son looks at me through binoculars, but has them backwards. Tells me I am small, then asks, "So... am I Big?" #toddlerlogic

12/1/2013
11/30/2013, 7:40:46 PM

Experimented with node.js / express / mongodb today. I like this, as a web dev stack.

12/1/2013
12/1/2013, 12:25:16 PM

Dear Online Retailers - if your store fails, due to broken JavaScript, due to my running AdBlock and Ghostery, I will just shop elsewhere.

12/10/2013
12/10/2013, 1:09:21 PM

Note to self - stop using alert()

12/11/2013
12/11/2013, 2:17:15 PM

@jonvon Our communication is significantly more prolific during mutual bouts of coding malaise. But productivity is gratifying, so WOO!

12/11/2013
12/11/2013, 2:18:54 PM

Solar panels received and assembled! Battery forthcoming! Electricity production commencing... well, soonish.

12/30/2013
12/30/2013, 2:33:08 PM

I already wrote this function once this year... now what app what that in??

12/31/2013
12/31/2013, 12:52:41 PM

@jonvon What about Celtic action movies? Of course, those are 95% headbutts.

1/2/2014
1/2/2014, 5:42:16 PM

2560x1440 monitor. 27", set up vertical. I can view 137 lines of code on-screen at once! 137! I was used to 48 before! 137! srsly!

1/5/2014
1/4/2014, 8:22:28 PM

Our farm now has bunnies. Our daughter is now baptized. These things are not related... just how we spend our time.

1/9/2014
1/9/2014, 8:53:30 AM

Our bathroom has been taken over by a bunny recovering from minor surgery.#lifeonafarm

1/16/2014
1/16/2014, 2:20:20 PM

80% of the family feeling down with the flu. But we work from home and homeschool, so it actually doesn't slow us down all that much.

1/21/2014
1/20/2014, 7:24:28 PM

We are now heading into Day 6 of the epic flu/virus/ear infection calamity that has knocked our family out.

1/26/2014
1/25/2014, 10:01:45 PM

Quote from the 3 year old: "Daddy just give me a placebo, then I'll do to bed."

1/27/2014
1/27/2014, 4:19:17 PM

After a 2-week long battle involving myself, Firefox, JavaScript, CKEDITOR, and the flu, I have come out victorious. Tired, but victorious.

1/27/2014
1/27/2014, 4:34:14 PM

and I lost my voice in the process.

1/29/2014
1/29/2014, 12:17:10 PM

Old-school evening last night - Family around our handmade kitchen table in a old farmhouse, playing gin rummy, drinking hot chocolate.

2/6/2014
2/5/2014, 8:51:24 PM

@jonvon Found old emails from 2001. "Don't forget to say "cheeukun" to yourself in the mirror before you go to bed. It does a body good!"

2/9/2014
2/9/2014, 9:46:32 AM

Can't code - every time I reach for my keyboard, my hands are attacked by the kitten.

2/11/2014
2/10/2014, 8:30:36 PM

Bad HTML is literally giving me a headache.

2/11/2014
2/10/2014, 9:17:34 PM

Tehanu just asked, "Daddy, why do you have all the Dr. Who posters in your office?"

2/11/2014
2/10/2014, 9:20:15 PM

More questions from Tehanu, "Dad, why do you have 5 monitors?", "Dad, why is your radio in your lamp?", "Dad, why do you have a whiteboard?"

2/12/2014
2/12/2014, 9:50:41 AM

Wifey sez her day is ruined.She can accomplish nothing. Because a kitten fell asleep on her and is purring.

2/12/2014
2/12/2014, 11:43:39 AM

Recliner. Plaid Pants, made of fleece. Blankets. Caffeinated beverage. 80s Music. #workathome

2/12/2014
2/12/2014, 2:46:21 PM

it made sense in my head, but once i see it on the screen, "!link" is not very readable, at least in my fonts.

2/13/2014
2/13/2014, 10:48:57 AM

I am turning into my grandpa: "You kids need to turn off lights when you aren't in a room!"

2/17/2014
2/17/2014, 9:38:54 AM

Android emulator takes so long to load... had time to give up, google for the problem, find people saying, "Yeah, it take FOREVER to boot."

2/19/2014
2/18/2014, 7:11:22 PM

I had a bag of candy on my desk when I left for my MRI. I came home and it was mostly gone. My 3 yr old denies everything.

2/21/2014
2/21/2014, 8:55:35 AM

Just because I write software does not mean I know how to operate a smartphone. Or a camera. Or any device smaller than a laptop.

2/21/2014
2/21/2014, 11:01:24 AM

Pain-inducing HTML snippet #6234 --> "<font style='...'>...</font>"

2/27/2014
2/27/2014, 12:20:18 AM

The problem with flying at night - get home so late that caffeine is required to drive home from airport. Now try to sleep.

2/28/2014
2/28/2014, 6:45:34 AM

When I explained to my kids that they were awake before 5:30 AM, my daughter cheerfully replied, "Its a NEW RECORD!!!"

2/28/2014
2/28/2014, 6:46:49 AM

$.contents().unwrap() has been my friend this week.

2/28/2014
2/28/2014, 12:31:22 PM

Pandora just rickrolled me.

3/3/2014
3/3/2014, 1:24:42 PM

The goal is very simple - my beard should be more out of control than my blackberry bushes.

3/4/2014
3/4/2014, 2:24:14 PM

Huh. mailto links trigger the onbeforeunload event. Now I know.

3/10/2014
3/10/2014, 10:20:50 AM

Daughter says clearing blackberry bushes will be a pain in the arm: "Because, you know... thorns? In our arms? Get it?"

3/11/2014
3/10/2014, 7:50:49 PM

Downwind vs. Upwind. The difference is vitally important when the wife is shoveling manure.

3/12/2014
3/12/2014, 8:41:53 AM

@jonvon Yes. Automated deployment through TFS makes it way nicer, but that is more effort to get it rolling in the first place.

3/14/2014
3/14/2014, 1:20:45 PM

My foot has now been asleep for 2 days. How long does it take for nerve blocks to wear off again?

3/18/2014
3/18/2014, 10:59:29 AM

Oops. Somehow removed one of my personal email accounts from my 'Daily' bookmarks folders. I've piled up quite the backlog in there.

3/18/2014
3/18/2014, 12:49:14 PM

I'm still learning to get down stairs on crutches, but my 3 year old is very helpful when he yells, "Daddy, move faster!"

3/19/2014
3/19/2014, 1:52:36 PM

My Chrome setup can handle 12328 recursive calls before erroring out. #thingsididnotwanttoknow

3/20/2014
3/20/2014, 12:36:36 PM

"Daddy, why is Internet Explorer bad?" "Because they do not play well with others." Yet 39.4% of our traffic is still there.

3/21/2014
3/21/2014, 10:25:02 AM

Just gave a 10 min lesson, to a 6 and 8 year old, about programming and memory to try to explain to them why browsers crash. Yea homeschool.

3/22/2014
3/22/2014, 10:37:47 AM

Going to let our rabbits breed today. Just trying to decide what music they'll want.

3/24/2014
3/24/2014, 1:20:17 PM

@jonvon We bought fencing, too. 400 feet of sheep fencing. Although we'll be keeping goats and chickens in it.

3/27/2014
3/27/2014, 10:48:42 AM

Dangers of being a coder named Dave - frequent typos when I try to type the word Date.

3/27/2014
3/27/2014, 10:54:20 AM

@jonvon No, man, I'm Dave, man

3/27/2014
3/27/2014, 11:25:45 AM

@jonvon It's Dave, man, will you open up? I got the stuff

3/31/2014
3/31/2014, 1:39:38 PM

So loud, it sounds like someone is jackhammering outside my office door. Wait, someone IS jackhammering outside my office door.

4/1/2014
4/1/2014, 10:28:04 AM

Is it just me, or is Google's annual April fool's joke just a bit on the lame side this year?

4/2/2014
4/2/2014, 11:47:00 AM

Wow. Irrigation ditch flooded land. CO1 alarms sent me out of home office for the day. Restaurant where i met my wife closed down.

4/2/2014
4/2/2014, 12:04:27 PM

@jonvon No, they sent more water into the ditches today than could be handled. Our ditch overflowed and flooded about an acre, 6 inches deep

4/3/2014
4/3/2014, 2:42:36 PM

My wife is smokin'. She's a keeper. #bees

4/3/2014
4/3/2014, 5:32:14 PM

It doesn't matter if nobody gets the joke - as long as @sweethavenarts, @jonvon, and I think it is hilarious.

4/6/2014
4/5/2014, 9:09:38 PM

केक! Saturday night. Party night. केक केक केक!

4/9/2014
4/9/2014, 3:14:31 PM

@jonvon Does it have more than 3 cylinders?

4/9/2014
4/9/2014, 3:32:14 PM

@jonvon I haven't thought about a car with only 3 cylinders in a long long time. Nor a car taken on a nationwide crime spree and abandoned.

4/10/2014
4/9/2014, 10:22:35 PM

neighbor's goats are out in the fields yelling meeeeeAAAHHH!!

4/11/2014
4/11/2014, 1:50:42 PM

I like simple things - Loretta bought me 25 pounds of grits. Add backyard-fresh eggs each morning, and my breakfasts are set for a long time

4/12/2014
4/12/2014, 12:00:10 PM

I feel old, yet efficiently so, whenever I create a text file by typing it out via "copy con".

4/15/2014
4/14/2014, 8:57:49 PM

@bock_rachel Hello Rachel!

4/15/2014
4/15/2014, 2:32:26 PM

@jonvon Dang.

4/15/2014
4/15/2014, 3:56:48 PM

Huh. My MSDN license was finally revoked. Took them long enough. I left the job that paid for it almost 3 years ago.

4/16/2014
4/16/2014, 9:06:18 AM

Does anyone else want to go do my physical therapy for me this morning?

4/17/2014
4/17/2014, 10:45:30 AM

My 6 yr old is reading a Dr. Seuss book to my 4 year old... while they both unload the dishwasher.

4/21/2014
4/21/2014, 8:56:44 AM

Breakfast this morning includes fresh eggs (from our chickens) and grits with fresh butter (from our goats).

4/22/2014
4/22/2014, 10:10:52 AM

Bad night's sleep == wait for caffeine to take effect so code can start to flow.

4/22/2014
4/22/2014, 10:16:08 AM

Shai-Hulud Web Development - The Code must flow.

4/22/2014
4/22/2014, 10:52:30 AM

We generate buzz the old-fashioned way. With bees.

4/23/2014
4/23/2014, 9:00:57 AM

Just did a google image search for "code slinging minotaur". No relevant results. Hm.

4/24/2014
4/24/2014, 9:40:46 AM

@jonvon @sweethavenarts The other one is named Wensleydale!

4/24/2014
4/24/2014, 9:50:14 AM

@sweethavenarts @jonvon Both are preggers with twins - we have four more cheesy names to assign in a couple months...

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 8:57:13 AM

I know I've written this code before. Where was that?? #programmerproblems

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:23:08 AM

@Jonvon the Shaman and Dave the Minotaur. Taking the world by storm. But peacefully, because we are both chill dudes.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:23:54 AM

@jonvon Man, I did the same thing. At the same time.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:24:57 AM

@jonvon and i'm typing an email now on the faulty computer. for the reals.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:26:24 AM

tweets and email collisions that only @jonvon will get. happy escapes from code labyrinths.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:27:18 AM

And the Ramones are playing in my office. Well, their music is.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:29:15 AM

I sometimes worry that 90% of my twitter usage is for talking to 2 people. And 9% is for talking to myself.

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 9:29:45 AM

@jonvon ([])

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 4:31:12 PM

Something doesn't feel right about writing recursive XSLT parsing functions on a Friday afternoon...

4/25/2014
4/25/2014, 4:37:21 PM

Something feels even worse about debugging those same functions.

4/28/2014
4/28/2014, 9:50:30 AM

Into the labyrinth once more...

4/28/2014
4/28/2014, 9:59:09 AM

I knew it must have been the weekend because I worked for a full day without any tweets or emails from @jonvon

4/29/2014
4/29/2014, 9:44:56 AM

I've written software for 20 years. Mostly in "NoSQL" environments. For the first time in those 20, years, I need to use a LEFT JOIN.

4/29/2014
4/29/2014, 2:39:39 PM

@sweethavenarts That is all us basement-sequestered programmers need - the occasional human to pat on the head to say we are doing well.

4/30/2014
4/30/2014, 6:11:41 AM

Just heard a rockslide in my basement. I suspect a cat was involved.

4/30/2014
4/30/2014, 6:14:06 AM

I would like to say that the rockslide woke me up at 5 AM. Because it sounds more exciting than awaking due to obsessing over data imports.

4/30/2014
4/30/2014, 7:14:05 AM

Today I'm playing my least favorite game - how many different ways can you crash your system?

4/30/2014
4/30/2014, 8:10:38 AM

@jonvon email me one, eh?

4/30/2014
4/30/2014, 8:16:13 AM

@jonvon Or I will laugh like an escaped mental patient...

5/1/2014
5/1/2014, 9:27:21 AM

Hours of yard work + a really solid sleep + tasty breakfast == coding comes together more quickly this morning.

5/1/2014
5/1/2014, 10:06:20 AM

If it was possible to summarize the conversation I just had with @sweethavenarts in 140 characters, i would totally tweet it to @jonvon

5/2/2014
5/2/2014, 8:49:44 AM

Sorted my music library by song length, ascending. Somehow the Ramones ended up heavily loaded at the front of the list.

5/2/2014
5/2/2014, 12:32:51 PM

Just saw the mail truck stop to pet the neighbor's goat and throw grain at them. Yup, this ain't a big city.

5/5/2014
5/5/2014, 12:13:48 PM

Leavin' on a jet plane...but I'll be back Thurs night. Until then, 3 days of coding, old-school style: On-site.

5/6/2014
5/6/2014, 1:35:24 PM

If dropbox keeps giving me popups telling me how to save my screenshots, I'm dropping it.

5/7/2014
5/7/2014, 9:47:04 AM

@jonvon MEEP

5/9/2014
5/9/2014, 1:58:04 PM

I think I left a mouse in Pennsylvania.

5/13/2014
5/12/2014, 9:29:43 PM

My daughter, fighting bedtime, says my clock is faster than the actual time. I politely inform her that my clock DEFINES the actual time.

5/13/2014
5/12/2014, 10:18:49 PM

Me to kids: "Guys! Sleep time". Kids back to me: "We ARE! Sort of... we're done."

5/14/2014
5/14/2014, 11:26:42 AM

I need a recipe for a gluten-free, organic, homemade Totino's Party Pizza.

5/15/2014
5/14/2014, 9:28:55 PM

SQL proc to detach files from the DB + Opening view that has never been indexed + running JS calcs in my browser = Mac Pro CPU is in pain.

5/26/2014
5/26/2014, 8:36:57 AM

So ready for this weekend to be over. I have work to do. (What is wrong with me??)

5/27/2014
5/27/2014, 6:38:43 PM

95 degrees. In May. No. I don't like it.

5/29/2014
5/29/2014, 8:38:15 AM

Just to summarize the last year of tweets: Kids are funny. I write code. We homestead. And I like @jonvon.

6/1/2014
5/31/2014, 9:43:32 PM

Neighbor's first alfalfa harvest for the year = lots of field mice looking for homes = our cats are feasting.

6/6/2014
6/6/2014, 12:09:33 PM

That moment when you realize that you already coded the function you intended to code this afternoon.

6/9/2014
6/8/2014, 7:51:29 PM

My 4 yr old is standing behind our home, screaming, "I am a farmer! And farmers never give up!"

6/9/2014
6/9/2014, 4:15:15 PM

Had something funny to share. Cannot type it in under 140 characters. But trust me, hilarity.

6/11/2014
6/10/2014, 9:31:49 PM

Either shoveling and moving wheelbarrows of dirt is getting easier, or this daily exercise thing actually works.

6/11/2014
6/10/2014, 10:58:42 PM

10 PM. What to do... work? sleep? Clearly, I am not working because I have been staring at this to do list for 20 minutes and... not working

6/12/2014
6/12/2014, 11:45:25 AM

Something tells me my code isn't readable if it includes this: &{&}&

6/12/2014
6/12/2014, 11:53:55 AM

Oh, it is going to be one of THOSE days - IDE crashing constantly. Already tried turning it off and on again. Lets reboot again!

6/12/2014
6/12/2014, 5:40:49 PM

Advantage of having a large home office - flying RC helicopters when taking a coding break.

6/14/2014
6/14/2014, 9:05:25 AM

I know our cats love us... but they don't have to bring mice into our office and eat them in front of us. Really. Not necessary.

6/17/2014
6/17/2014, 11:28:11 AM

@jonvon *blink*

6/17/2014
6/17/2014, 2:29:28 PM

My wife must love me a lot - she is willing to plug my ears with her fingers while I pound T-posts for an expanded goat fence. #CodingBreak

6/17/2014
6/17/2014, 5:07:05 PM

@jonvon I mustache you a question.

6/17/2014
6/17/2014, 5:07:23 PM

@jonvon nevermind, I'll shave it for later.

6/18/2014
6/18/2014, 8:00:15 AM

Can't let kids watch Secret of NIMH. Ever. It would totally destroy the (already weird) experience of watching our cats eat the field mice.

6/19/2014
6/19/2014, 8:42:25 AM

Practicing kung fu: On a scale of 1-10, with 1 = "You move like a pregnant yak", and 10 = "I am ninja." ...I think I am up to about 1.3.

6/25/2014
6/24/2014, 8:02:45 PM

Lack of sleep effect #37: Tried to say "No" to my son, but actually said, "Neyeehhh.... uh....bluh."

6/25/2014
6/24/2014, 8:22:41 PM

Dave 3.0 - Back to kicking people in the head like a ninja, but old man style -- aches, pains, and icing my hips after each workout.

6/26/2014
6/25/2014, 7:08:54 PM

@jonvon woo! whee! yea! ya! Is this the appropriate time so say meep?

6/26/2014
6/26/2014, 9:42:29 AM

@jonvon YAWP

6/26/2014
6/26/2014, 2:53:42 PM

This has got to be the only house where you can be a ninja by wearing tie-dye.

6/27/2014
6/26/2014, 10:25:01 PM

Need to ice my hip, my shoulder, and my ankle, but only have one ice pack. #OldNinjaProblems

6/28/2014
6/28/2014, 12:27:09 PM

Kids ask to watch a movie. I say no. They disappear for 20 mins, then come back, say, "We're creating!", steal my pillow, and run away again

6/28/2014
6/28/2014, 4:13:15 PM

@jonvon "Dim number As String" -- The irony of web development.

7/1/2014
7/1/2014, 9:25:39 AM

Slept outside in hammock last night. Got up, ate bacon cooked over campfire with kids. Parsed text. Fixed some bugs. Good start to the day.

7/2/2014
7/1/2014, 11:32:28 PM

Fireworks safety tip. Don't shoot them right outside my house at 10:30 on a school night.

7/6/2014
7/6/2014, 9:05:25 AM

Son asks Daughter: "What is Common Core?" She replies, "It is a school that isn't teaching things the way they are supposed to be taught."

7/8/2014
7/8/2014, 6:38:23 AM

@jonvon Dude, if Bear Claws could be returned from a function... just imagine...

7/10/2014
7/9/2014, 9:01:06 PM

K says, "Everyone is OK"... I ask, "Then why is your brother crying", he replies: "I wasn't talking about people!"

7/14/2014
7/14/2014, 12:28:22 PM

@jonvon Well that is fascinating on multiple levels. I'm sorry and congrats!

7/16/2014
7/16/2014, 10:40:01 AM

@jonvon You need just one more major event to make it the most memorable work week ever.

7/16/2014
7/16/2014, 11:13:47 AM

the comments in my code - they look so serious when I accidentally hit caps lock.

7/17/2014
7/16/2014, 8:19:45 PM

K Quote: "Porcupines are like, based on armadillos. They both have shells, but the porcupine's is spiky."

7/18/2014
7/18/2014, 12:06:04 PM

Open Letter to my Cats: Dead mice left in my office are not appreciated. Live mice left in my office are VERY MUCH NOT.

7/19/2014
7/18/2014, 10:02:00 PM

Is is just me, or is Ycombinator's business model freakishly similar to that of a casino?

7/21/2014
7/21/2014, 1:00:29 PM

@jonvon So your lunch was full of tasty chickpea-ness and green pea.... No, nevermind, I cannot finish this tweet.

7/22/2014
7/22/2014, 4:06:06 PM

3 hours... 3 hours? I thought it was 3 minutes. I totally have lost track of time today.

7/23/2014
7/22/2014, 10:19:52 PM

Coding session interrupted by 4 year old asking, "Daddy, want to play Battleship with me?"

7/24/2014
7/23/2014, 7:05:21 PM

Normal towns: Get to the parade 30 minutes early to grab a good spot. This town: People are setting up chairs and camping out overnight???

7/24/2014
7/23/2014, 7:07:33 PM

Seriously - Utah County has its own oddball culture, but this is another whole standard deviation off of normal.

7/24/2014
7/24/2014, 11:24:48 AM

Don't do a $(this).find(...) unless you are really sure $(this) is a DOM element. If it is a function, browsers get really upset.

7/25/2014
7/25/2014, 12:14:36 PM

Which is more frustrating? Spending 24 hours debugging one issue, or having it magically start working when you sit back down after a break?

7/26/2014
7/25/2014, 7:10:55 PM

Wind here is measured by whether it topples our b-ball hoop. 150 pounds of weight has kept it upright all summer... but just got defeated.

7/29/2014
7/29/2014, 6:50:47 PM

2 rainstorms in the same day? After a really good one last night? I'm not complaining, this is just highly unusual.

7/31/2014
7/30/2014, 11:09:27 PM

Is "I don't have one that color" a valid reason to get another goat?

8/1/2014
7/31/2014, 11:29:12 PM

First came autotune. Then artists singing ability become nil. Then we mocked autotune. So some turned it off... But still cannot sing. OW.

8/5/2014
8/5/2014, 4:58:23 PM

Carrying metal posts across an open field during a thunderstorm. Maybe not such a good idea.

8/6/2014
8/6/2014, 3:18:22 PM

@jonvon In other words, Microsoft devs?

8/6/2014
8/6/2014, 3:31:44 PM

@jonvon No idea, but tis true. A trying former coworker named everything as "myVar", because "that is how the tutorials did it." #sigh

8/7/2014
8/6/2014, 7:30:39 PM

I have a beard. I cannot and will not log in to pinterest. @sweethavenarts

8/8/2014
8/8/2014, 9:25:31 AM

Just told @sweethavenarts if she can learn to play Punk Rock Girl on the ukelele by lunch, I'll buy her Indian food.

8/9/2014
8/9/2014, 5:48:13 PM

"Dad, alligators have camouflage. They can turn themselves green. Like a grasshopper" "

8/12/2014
8/11/2014, 10:23:58 PM

I sometimes wonder if it is a good parenting choice when my kids and I spend 30 minutes throwing apples at each others heads.

8/13/2014
8/12/2014, 10:43:46 PM

@jonvon What do you know about tweetle beetles?

8/16/2014
8/16/2014, 8:32:26 AM

I ask T, "What is your brother doing?" She says, "I don't know, the last time I saw him he went KABOOM"

8/21/2014
8/21/2014, 2:12:35 PM

Java coding this afternoon. Prepared for that trauma by having uber-spicy chicken wings and caffeine for lunch.

8/22/2014
8/22/2014, 11:47:59 AM

i don't WANT to like my new iPhone. I have had opposition to smartphones for years. But... it is really nice... #movingtothedarkside

8/25/2014
8/25/2014, 10:31:20 AM

Been a couple months since I re-ordered my coding music. Time to switch things up - new order: Alphabetical by Song title.

8/26/2014
8/26/2014, 9:52:26 AM

@jonvon Here, John! Have some virtual lovins. *jonvonlove* My son says happy birthday, too. As it is his, too. 56 years total. And stuff.

8/28/2014
8/28/2014, 9:30:59 AM

@jonvon reason #342 that work-from-home environments are better. Sorry that your morning sucked, though.

9/17/2014
9/17/2014, 2:10:01 PM

@jonvon For me, that moment is more of an hour of fear-driven procrastination.

9/17/2014
9/17/2014, 5:24:41 PM

@jonvon Sorry it took two hours to reply to this. I was kinda scared.

9/18/2014
9/18/2014, 1:30:54 PM

@jonvon I misspelled LocalDomainServers yesterday. 2 hours sounds about right.

9/24/2014
9/24/2014, 10:26:30 AM

Whenever I think I've found the best way to debug jQuery events, a new bug arises to challenge that notion. Time to try FF's new tools...

9/24/2014
9/24/2014, 12:35:14 PM

Just wanted to let everyone know that @sweethavenarts is smarter than me. She guessed what was wrong in 10 seconds.

9/27/2014
9/27/2014, 10:02:13 AM

My children are standing in a rainstorm, but also spraying themselves with the hose, to test out their umbrellas.

10/2/2014
10/1/2014, 8:26:59 PM

@jonvon And steal all the candy you want. Not that I would do that.

10/3/2014
10/2/2014, 7:10:05 PM

RT @sweethavenarts: THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS: DH just 'repaired' the laptop that flew off the top of his car while going 60 wi…

10/3/2014
10/2/2014, 7:10:48 PM

@sweethavenarts Yeah. I rule. Woo!

10/7/2014
10/7/2014, 11:55:40 AM

Data imports take too long. Maybe I need to go get shrimp tacos while I wait.

10/7/2014
10/7/2014, 1:06:02 PM

THARS SHRIMP IN THEM THAR TACOS

10/8/2014
10/7/2014, 8:59:34 PM

@sweethavenarts thars shrimp in that thar beef?

10/14/2014
10/13/2014, 7:02:11 PM

E gave me 3 lego things, told to guess what they were. My guess: puppy, alligator, and butterfly. Nope: Peregrine Falcons and tailless cats.

10/16/2014
10/16/2014, 10:47:10 AM

I was a friend of JavaScript. @jonvon

10/21/2014
10/21/2014, 10:09:26 AM

Vital question after installing new water treatment system on our well -- Will the software, cleaner water make a difference on the beard?

10/25/2014
10/25/2014, 5:32:23 PM

Started checking to see if our picnic spot was on public lands, got caught up browsing online GIS maps for 3 hours. I may have a problem.

11/4/2014
11/3/2014, 7:53:09 PM

My wife gets very excited about kicking on the woodburning stove in our office for the first time this winter. @sweethavenarts

11/4/2014
11/4/2014, 9:48:47 AM

@jonvon this is the appropriate time to say MEEP!

11/6/2014
11/5/2014, 8:32:12 PM

We remembered to shut off the water to our fields this year. Hooray for no exploding spigots in January!

11/10/2014
11/10/2014, 11:24:37 AM

There are days when I really dislike Java. But only, like, 365 each year.

11/13/2014
11/13/2014, 11:16:34 AM

Back to cold weather. Cat adjusts his sleeping location back to my lap. TK-421 is at his post.

11/18/2014
11/18/2014, 1:00:48 PM

Homemade dal for lunch. @sweethavenarts made it. @jonvon would enjoy.

11/21/2014
11/20/2014, 6:39:31 PM

I was just ordered out of a room in my own house by a child wielding a nerf gun. Not my child. A neighbor child. But it was my nerf gun.

11/24/2014
11/24/2014, 3:59:30 PM

It is that time of year again... when holiday crowds drive us introverts to stay holed up in our homes until January.

11/27/2014
11/27/2014, 12:57:34 PM

Only 12 hours left until that magical season of the year - when @sweethavenarts will let me play the Jingle Cats CD.

12/1/2014
12/1/2014, 1:16:26 PM

At MSP airport. 100s of ipads here. Cool, but...100s of travelers visibly sharing passwords via on-screen keyboard. Like, 4asdfghj. Really??

12/19/2014
12/19/2014, 5:42:09 PM

Quote from my 8 yr old daughter: "I was chasing boys with lipstick on and I accidentally kissed a boy."

12/30/2014
12/30/2014, 12:13:26 PM

iPhones need a button that just texts "Stupid Autocorrect" to whomever you last texted.

1/5/2015
1/5/2015, 1:10:44 PM

@jonvon Are you the Flying Pistachio Monster??

1/13/2015
1/13/2015, 1:27:47 PM

@jonvon Dude, I totally saw that earlier today. It just looks so clean and crisp. I really like it.

1/13/2015
1/13/2015, 1:33:01 PM

@jonvon hm! I am trying to figure out how to use that in our plans to lay out the irrigation and garden boxes for next year.

1/21/2015
1/21/2015, 6:30:02 AM

@jonvon You will defy the graph. It will create a 3D climbing tower above the magic quadrant, and you will be a celery stick man on top!

2/6/2015
2/5/2015, 6:41:53 PM

My children found a cookbook. Asked me to pick something from it. Now they are cooking it for me. I'm not going to argue...

2/14/2015
2/14/2015, 11:26:52 AM

60+ degree days in Feb..Fruit trees are starting to bud too early, and our fields are turning green already. This could be ugly in summer.

2/16/2015
2/15/2015, 9:12:48 PM

My kids are learning to code. They are getting it, but L said, "They started with a lot of yelling." Yeah, that is how coding usually works.

2/16/2015
2/15/2015, 9:14:17 PM

... and somehow fitting that story into 140 characters feels like as much of an accomplishment as anything else I did this weekend.

2/24/2015
2/24/2015, 12:56:14 PM

This meshes well with my own philosophy on life, of using tech where it makes sense, but only where it makes sense. http://t.co/WuhMikErWW

3/4/2015
3/4/2015, 4:16:50 PM

My town is updating our municipal network. Speed increasing to 120MB in the near future, with gigabit fiber coming in the next year-ish

3/4/2015
3/4/2015, 5:04:37 PM

@COhikingdave Best of both worlds.... gigabit fiber to the homestead.

3/5/2015
3/5/2015, 11:07:44 AM

@jonvon hi. meep. and all that.

3/5/2015
3/5/2015, 11:28:54 AM

@jonvon Dave's not here, man...

3/5/2015
3/5/2015, 11:30:19 AM

@jonvon wow. meep. time to go say hi to goats.

3/5/2015
3/5/2015, 11:56:27 AM

@jonvon goooats....jooooohhhnnn....cooooode.

3/11/2015
3/11/2015, 10:48:04 AM

Code new feature, whiteboard how old features will need to be coded to work with new data, go check code. Already coded it that way! OH YEAH

3/17/2015
3/17/2015, 12:10:25 PM

Sometimes it takes creating something wrong before you realize how to do it right.

3/18/2015
3/18/2015, 7:15:22 AM

@RevJCMitchell I still have Black 47 in my music rotation that I listen to while working...

3/21/2015
3/20/2015, 9:17:12 PM

31 chickens, 33 rabbits, 4 goats, 3 cats, 5 humans = population at our home.

3/21/2015
3/20/2015, 9:17:55 PM

Oh, and countless bees. We harvested some honey. Is tasty.

3/22/2015
3/22/2015, 3:46:58 PM

Cancelled Netflix. Paid for ad-free Pandora.

3/24/2015
3/24/2015, 2:33:31 PM

Trimmed the beard - we do it every six months, whether it needs it or not.

4/14/2015
4/14/2015, 8:28:28 AM

15 hours later, this data import script is still running. And I will need to actually upload it all later. #toomuchdata

4/18/2015
4/18/2015, 1:17:28 PM

Dirty, dusty, tired, hot, and dehydrated. Or, in other words, it is spring, there is a desert an hour away, and I got an Outback! #subaru

5/18/2015
5/18/2015, 8:32:23 AM

Back on the melatonin/caffeine roller coaster. Which may not be healthy, but at least makes my brain go: CODECODECODECODE!!!

5/27/2015
5/27/2015, 6:45:07 AM

@jonvon well, unless the purpose of this code is to write the ending lyrics to Hey Jude...

5/27/2015
5/27/2015, 11:14:53 AM

@jonvon Dude.

5/27/2015
5/27/2015, 11:24:18 AM

@jonvon I am wondering if I have any of my old code and analysis scripts for helping with those kinds of efforts. Want me to look around?

5/28/2015
5/28/2015, 11:02:09 AM

Seriously, no more rain! We're past, "This will help things grow" and into, "This is drowning plants and preventing deep root systems."

6/2/2015
6/2/2015, 7:00:32 AM

@jonvon Congratulations and I'm sorry.

6/2/2015
6/2/2015, 7:43:45 AM

@jonvon ok then! is all good! .... Is your way waiting for it to come around the corner, then hitting it on a head with a rock?

6/4/2015
6/4/2015, 5:12:52 PM

@jonvon Ha. Yes. I forgot about that.

6/12/2015
6/12/2015, 10:29:45 AM

My data import script says to my tablet's battery, "Yeah right, 6-9 hours, I can drain you in two hours flat."

6/19/2015
6/19/2015, 1:02:37 PM

Email client is tied up, running a script. Phone buzzes to let me know an email came in, so I open it via a web browser. #Really??

6/19/2015
6/19/2015, 3:16:33 PM

@jonvon No, I'm dave! Let me in, man. I got the stuff.

6/20/2015
6/19/2015, 7:08:26 PM

103 degrees outside. 76 degrees inside. No A/C. Good windows and reinforced brick walls FTW.

7/7/2015
7/7/2015, 10:30:38 AM

Kids staying up past midnight, reading books, is probably a good thing. But it is 9:30. Time to boot them awake.

7/7/2015
7/7/2015, 10:47:02 AM

Of course, the days when I get up and start working at 5 AM makes me think the rest of the world sleeps too late.

7/17/2015
7/16/2015, 7:20:09 PM

@jonvon You mean it isn't spelled "Von"... and the client stlil was correct? Right Aughan!

7/17/2015
7/17/2015, 1:01:03 PM

Call me crazy, but I think that self-driving cars need to actively avoid accidents, not just say, "It wasn't our fault, they hit us."

7/19/2015
7/18/2015, 9:05:12 PM

9 yr old daughter asked how computers understand the letters I am typing...

7/19/2015
7/18/2015, 9:05:52 PM

So we went into ASCII tables, then converting decimal numbers to binary numbers, then how those binary numbers relate to computer memory...

7/19/2015
7/18/2015, 9:06:38 PM

And then I explained that is why programmers tend to have the powers of two embedded deeply into our psyche.

7/19/2015
7/18/2015, 9:07:40 PM

Because to us, 512 is far more of a "round number" than 500.

7/19/2015
7/18/2015, 9:10:18 PM

Once she gets binary, we'll switch to HEX!!

7/23/2015
7/22/2015, 7:24:44 PM

Parenting milestone - when your children are all old enough to gang up on you during card games and you start losing every game.

8/4/2015
8/4/2015, 9:03:36 AM

Going to start going to local tech meetups. First one is today. According to http://t.co/vFbOCDoEB0, 40 people going... all guys. #kindascary

8/11/2015
8/11/2015, 2:20:26 PM

@RevJCMitchell ooh, I didn't know the pound thing either, and I am normally fairly clever.

8/13/2015
8/13/2015, 7:38:41 AM

@jonvon That is such a good feeling... also kinda weird.

8/16/2015
8/15/2015, 8:32:28 PM

My kids and I created our own sport/game - http://t.co/DS4wOq8Cqw

8/26/2015
8/26/2015, 8:55:25 AM

Fiddy. @jonvon #happybirthday

8/31/2015
8/31/2015, 12:23:34 PM

replicating a DB via hotspot at 80mph on a train through rural iowa is not efficient

9/10/2015
9/10/2015, 5:39:26 PM

My son just told me "Truer words have never been spoken by a chicken."

9/10/2015
9/10/2015, 6:51:57 PM

My child worries me -- "Do you know why this is dangerous?", "No, why?", "I don't want to tell you. It is a secret only I should know."

9/17/2015
9/17/2015, 8:23:05 AM

3 Laparoscopic surgeries in 5 years = a dozen holes/scars down my side. Looks like I survived something terrible. #ChicksDigScars?

9/22/2015
9/22/2015, 11:57:22 AM

@jonvon MEEP

10/5/2015
10/5/2015, 6:13:58 PM

Does "The bigger beard has right of way." apply only when walking? Or does it also apply at 4-way stops?

10/14/2015
10/14/2015, 12:01:12 PM

We just figured out that the difference between Jamaican spices and Pumpkin Pie spices is simply -- add cayenne pepper.

10/20/2015
10/20/2015, 11:16:30 AM

We have decided that our new definition of being old is having both the desire and the cash to buy an adjustable bed.

10/21/2015
10/21/2015, 6:46:40 AM

@jonvon Maybe it always was, but we realized it when we actually bought an adjustable bed!

10/21/2015
10/21/2015, 8:05:53 AM

Chickens are actually clever devices that turns kitchen scraps into fresh eggs.

10/28/2015
10/28/2015, 4:38:58 PM

Almost any time I see an article on "How To...", I find that I really would rather know, "Why Would I Want To..."

10/31/2015
10/30/2015, 10:09:41 PM

Wearing your Halloween costume to work... not quite the same when you work from home.

11/9/2015
11/9/2015, 8:01:30 AM

Microsoft tries to annoy us into upgrading to Windows 10. Getting popups that need a reboot to go away. Bug? Or intentional annoyance?

11/12/2015
11/11/2015, 8:30:55 PM

K had a girl over. She declared she was a tomboy. K showed off his dolls.

11/13/2015
11/13/2015, 4:47:04 PM

K: "Dad, watch what I can do! I've been training for this for centuries! Or maybe just today..."

11/16/2015
11/16/2015, 10:14:34 AM

2 baby goats who have never seen snow before. One jumps in and frolics. The other is scared.

11/19/2015
11/19/2015, 2:43:04 PM

yea! do the thing! with that object! for the points! #sports

11/24/2015
11/24/2015, 12:06:36 PM

Anyone know how to tell Pandora, "Yes, I want folk singers, but not twangy, nor anyone that sounds like a yowling cat."

11/25/2015
11/24/2015, 7:46:20 PM

Wife just walks in, measures the air behind my computer with a laser, then asks, "Can I put my henna next to your computer overnight?"

11/26/2015
11/26/2015, 11:10:01 AM

Step 1 in preparing a 100% locally grown, made from scratch Thanksgiving meal: https://t.co/QEF4i6ryvi

11/28/2015
11/28/2015, 7:04:57 AM

Just woke up from a dream where a restaurant refused to show me the menu, insisting they were only serving plates of red snapper all day.

12/2/2015
12/2/2015, 9:02:46 AM

Some days I think about deleting twitter. Other days I think I should throw every idle thought from my working day here.

12/11/2015
12/11/2015, 5:12:26 PM

Quote from son: "The longest word in kitty language is MMMMEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW"

12/15/2015
12/14/2015, 6:09:06 PM

Let this be a formal, permanent declaration to my daughter: No, I do not want to play DuckLife.

12/15/2015
12/15/2015, 8:41:44 AM

I strive to be a loving parent to my kids. But when they throw roundhouse kicks at me before breakfast, takedowns become moral imperatives.

12/15/2015
12/15/2015, 9:55:41 AM

Snow so bright my monitors look dim.

12/15/2015
12/15/2015, 11:24:12 AM

Note to drivers: In snow, just pretend you are on a motorcycle - decelerate before the curve, not while turning, and you'll be fine.

12/16/2015
12/16/2015, 9:08:26 AM

Stop messing with me pandora... I thought we were finally on the same page most of the time, but now you are giving me twangy vocals.

12/16/2015
12/16/2015, 9:10:36 AM

Music is white noise for coding, not supposed to actually catch my attention. #iamavisualartistnotamusician

12/16/2015
12/16/2015, 9:13:50 AM

But while I am tweet-ranting, has anyone else noticed that upgrading to Windows 10 tripled the volume of their speakers?

12/22/2015
12/21/2015, 8:00:17 PM

Maybe due to multiple years of doctor who cannot diagnose my problems, but I am literally in pain with laughter at: https://t.co/aVIjQNtklp